Merseyside Derby Review: Four Goals, Two Teams, One City Still Arguing About It

Right. Where do you even start with a derby? You can't. You just have to breathe for a second, let the dust settle, and then wade in. So here we go.

Everton against Liverpool at the Hill Dickinson Stadium. Four goals. Two before half time, two after. The kind of match that makes you remember exactly why this fixture exists. Not for the faint-hearted, not for the neutral who says they don't really care, and absolutely not for anyone who had plans after the final whistle. You were going to be talking about this one whether you liked it or not.

First Half: The Derby Woke Up Early

Listen, derbies can take time to get going. Both sides feeling each other out, nobody wanting to be the team that gave it away in the first fifteen minutes. That wasn't this one. This one came alive and it came alive quickly.

The first goal arrived on twenty-two minutes. Now look, the data I've got in front of me doesn't give me the full picture on who put it in the net, and I'm not going to sit here and make things up. What I will say is that a goal before the half hour mark in a Merseyside derby changes everything. The crowd, the tempo, the shape of both teams. Everything shifts. You can feel it through the screen.

And then, just seven minutes later at twenty-nine minutes, another one. Two goals before the half hour. Absolute scenes. That is the kind of opening period that gets the pub buzzing and the message groups going absolutely nuclear. You know the ones. Fifty unread messages and half of them are voice notes you're too nervous to listen to.

Both goals in that opening stretch set the tone for a match that was never going to settle. Everton came into this sitting tenth in the league with thirty-nine goals scored and thirty-seven conceded on the season. Liverpool came in fifth with fifty-two goals scored and forty-two conceded. So neither of these sides is built around keeping it tight and grinding out a one-nil. The numbers say goals. The first half delivered goals. Funny how that works sometimes.

Half Time: What Was Going Through Everyone's Heads

Two goals by the twenty-ninth minute. At half time, both sets of supporters are somewhere between thrilled and terrified depending on which way those goals went. The managers will have had plenty to say in those dressing rooms. Adjustments to make. Messages to deliver. I'd love to be a fly on the wall for that but honestly I'd probably just stress eat all the orange segments and not help anyone.

The key question going into the second half was always going to be this. Could either side kill the game off, or were we getting more of this? More goals, more chaos, more derby madness?

Second Half: They Weren't Done

Turns out we were getting more. Of course we were. This is the Merseyside derby. It doesn't do tidy.

Fifty-four minutes. Another goal. Right in that period of the game where one team is trying to assert control and the other is looking for a way back in, or trying to put the match to bed. Whichever way that one went, it mattered. A goal just past the hour mark in a derby is not just a goal. It is a statement. It is momentum. It is the crowd going from anxious to either delirious or devastated in about three seconds flat.

And then fifty-eight minutes. Four minutes later. Another one. That is two goals in four minutes in the second half of a Merseyside derby. I've seen playoff finals with less drama than that. Limbs everywhere, I'd imagine. Or silence. One of the two. There is no middle ground in a derby stadium when the goals are flying in like that.

Four goals across the ninety minutes. Two before the break, two just after the hour. Compact little bursts of action bookending a match that had plenty going on throughout.

What the Numbers Actually Tell Us

I normally leave the numbers to Marcus because he's got spreadsheets and I've got vibes, but even I can see a story here. Liverpool's attacking output this season, fifty-two goals, is the bigger number. Everton's defence has been giving up thirty-seven on their end. Liverpool's own backline has shipped forty-two. So both sets of defenders came into this with question marks and both matches, well, confirmed them a little.

Everton at tenth in the league are a team that could genuinely go either way in a game like this. They've got enough quality to hurt you. They've shown that over the course of the season. But they can also be got at. Look at the fixtures around this point in the season and you can see why results like this happen. Fatigue, pressure, the unique madness of a derby atmosphere combining with form that is never quite settled.

Liverpool in fifth are pushing for something. A top four finish, or whatever target they've got their eyes on. A draw in a derby is not the end of the world if you're trying to consolidate. A win is massive. A loss is a gut punch but not a crisis from fifth.

The Derby Verdict

Honestly? Four goals in a derby is exactly what this fixture deserves. Both cities got a match they'll be discussing for weeks. The goals came in clusters, both teams were involved, and nobody walked away completely satisfied. That is peak Merseyside derby energy right there.

Everton will feel things about this one. Liverpool will feel things about this one. That is the point. That has always been the point. The Hill Dickinson Stadium hosted a proper match today and whatever you think about the result, you cannot say it wasn't entertaining.

Right. Back to the drawing board on my acca because I don't want to talk about that. But this match? Brilliant. Proper football. You heard it here first, the Merseyside derby remains one of the best fixtures in world football. Don't @ me.